This past weekend I got a chance to go and visit Messiah for the weekend! I was so excited to go, though a little scared because this was my first weekend away from Luke. It was a fantastic weekend filled with fantastic people! I love love love my friends at the school, they mean so much to me! I have not laughed that much in a long time!
Part of it was really hard for me because I had to go back and basically experience what I am missing because of having Luke, but at the same time I couldn't help but realize how grateful I am for Luke and that I wouldn't change a thing. This was really important for me because sometimes I get really bitter that my life plans got cancelled. It is hard for me to admit but then I get to see Luke and his smile when I walked in after a long weekend and it made all the sacrifices worth it.
Coming home was hard though, I hadn't seen Danny since Thursday and got to spend 30mins with him before he had to head home to sleep. My mom just started on about what he should have been doing over the weekend, I was just happy to see him and she started on. It was a hard reality that I don't get to be with him, and our decisions as a family are being judged by her, our decisions in our relationship are being judged by her, and there is not escaping it, she is there, it is not even like we have to confront it when we visit but all the time. It is a really hard way to form a healthy relationship, and be good parents. We are trying to be postive but it is beginning to get wearing and I am beginning to wonder why our prayers our not being answered...
aw baby don't give up luke is worth it and danny is worth it and YOU are worth it!! i know it's hard right now i know your mom is driving you up the wall but it's all bc she loves you. just keep reminding yourself that. and i love you too and i will always go out with you whenever you need a break from home. i love youuuu!!!
ReplyDelete1 John 5:14-15 says:
ReplyDeleteThis is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.
So sorry you have this added pressure in your life of living under your moms roof. My mom is my buddy, but we definitly get along much better ever since we stopped living together, so I hear ya sister- loud & clear .
Will be praying for you...